Sunday, April 9, 2017


I don't even know where to begin.  Perhaps with this morning.

I got out of bed at 6:30am to take Jacob to the ER.  He was with his grandma yesterday.  She noticed he had to use the bathroom more often than normal.  She suspected a UTI and told me to bring him into the doctor office she works at on Tuesday (her next shift.)  I have had a UTI and couldn't let Jake suffer until Tuesday.  It was bedtime when Grandma brought the kids home, so I decided to wait until morning to take him.

We had to get up early because the choir I direct at our church was scheduled to sing today.  All three of my kids are in that choir.  I needed to be at the church by 10am.  It's only a couple miles from the ER, so I felt confident we would make it in time.

We were the only people in the ER at 7am and were taken to an exam room very quickly.  Vitals were assessed and Jake peed in a cup.  A doctor came in to check his abdomen and other areas.  And then we sat.  And sat.  And sat.  And SAT. At 9:30am, we were told Jacob had a UTI and antibiotics would be available for pickup at our pharmacy later.

Waiting, waiting, waiting. 

We headed to church with about 10 minutes to spare.  The pianist and I warmed up the choirs and practiced our song.  It was a double choir antiphonal piece. I directed both choirs.  Rehearsal went very well.  I was super excited for my little guys to sing in church.

My twins were very squirrely in their seats this morning as they waited to sing.  Sometimes, they become unsettled.  It is tough for them to make it through the sermon and I usually provide a small snack for them to eat during it.  We usually sing at the beginning of church.  Today, the choirs sang after the sermon.  No snack.  No area to spread out and be away from each other.  I should have expected something to go wrong.  But, I didn't.  And the shit hit the fan.

During the middle of our song, my beautiful sons engaged in a fight with one another.  Shoving, Hitting.  Possibly even strangling.  In front of God and the entire congregation.  I have never been so angry, disappointed, and humiliated in my life.  I was so focused on directing both choirs that I have no idea how or when it began.  I heard chuckles from the congregation and looked at my boys.  There they were, locked in battle.  I looked directly at them and said, "stop it now" as I continued to direct the choirs.  The older choir in the balcony continued to sing without paying attention to them.  The rest of my choir continued to sing as well, but was noticeably distracted.  I was on fire.

After the song was over, my sons refused to leave the chancel.  They knew they were in a lot of trouble.  I took them directly from the chancel and out of the church.  I cut off all of their, "Mommy, I'm sooooo sooooorrrrry" pleas.  And then I let them have it.  Punishment.

1.  No screen time of any kind for 7 days. They are permitted to read, write, and draw.
2.  No toys.  No playing.  They are permitted to go to school and soccer practice.
3. They had to write apology letters to the church.
4.  They had to mop the entire kitchen floor.  I wanted them to do it with sponges, on their hands and knees.  However, Jack allowed them to use a mop.  He had them do it while I was locked in my room to keep myself from killing them.
5.  No talking. This is torture for them.
6.  No sitting on the couch.  If they choose to act like animals, they can sit on the floor like animals.
7. No trip to the zoo on Friday. We had planned to go with my friend, TJ.  They love TJ and were looking forward to seeing him.  Too bad, boys.  I'm sorry, Teej.  I know you wanted to go.
8. No Easter Breakfast or Easter Egg Hunt at the church.  They will be at the service, but none of the extra fun stuff.

Writing apologies to the church. 

It's been very quiet here today.  A silent ride home from church.  A noiseless afternoon.  Mom is furious and the boys are scared.  And they better never act like that again.  They are very upset that we will not be going to the zoo.  Heartbroken.  I'm sad too.  We love the zoo.  I hate that their bad deeds effect others.  Mason didn't do a thing wrong today, but she is suffering along with them.  But, punishment doesn't mean a thing without the follow through.*

*Obviously, this song has nothing to do with the events of today.  However, I can't pass up a chance to work Blue October lyrics into my blog.  Love them.